One of the most common questions people ask when they learn a woman has been a victim of domestic violence is "Why doesn't she leave him?" Of course, there are many reasons women don't run away from violent relationships. Fear of being murdered if she manages to escape, financial dependence, survival, etc. are all on the list. We could name reasons women stay all day. I wonder, though, why no one asks why HE doesn't leave.
When HE commits a crime against her, HE should have to go. Unfortunately, the criminal justice system isn't designed to protect women. If an abuser gets arrested, he doesn't stay in jail long. Since his victim knows he'll be getting out, it's beneficial to her to keep in contact with him while he's in jail and even "forget" about court hearings where she is supposed to testify against him.
Why is it that victims of intimate partner violence are shamed while victims of other crimes are not? No one asks why hostages don't just leave. Surely a group of hostages could overtake a single guy with a gun. At least one of them could sneak out while their captor is occupied talking to the negotiators. If they stay, they must like it, right? What if the scene of the crime was their place of employment? Are they stupid if they go back to work the next day, knowing another criminal could walk in and attack them?
The criminal justice system doesn't treat robbery hostages that way. District Attorneys will do everything they can to prosecute, whether or not the victim testifies. Victims may even get special protection from their attacker until and maybe after the trial to ensure they don't face retaliation for their testimony. Domestic violence victims have shelters they can stay in for a maximum of a few weeks. A woman can take her kids but shelters just don't have room for a lot of personal items so she'll probably lose everything she owns.
I challenge you to think of another crime where it costs the victim so much to prevent future victimization.
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